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Formats and Editions
1. Sound Bite
2. Red Hat Blues
3. Cat/Horse Joke
4. I Like My Mother
5. 5
6. 4
7. She's A Slow Walker
8. Never Grow Up
9. Swatting A Fly
10. Setting Off The Alarm
11. The Robbery
12. Yes-You Caught Me
13. Please Mr Policeman
14. Beach Old Lady
15. Beach Old Lady Revisited
16. At The Elvis Concert
17. I'm Blue
18. Sound Bite II
19. Commercial
20. 4 Again
21. You're Gonna Die
22. Get The Lord Known(In Your Heart,Yeah)
23. Kum Ba Ya
24. O'when The Saints(Go Marching In)
25. She's Got A Gorgeous Beard
26. The Grocery Store Incident
27. Be My Valentine
28. Letz Danze
29. Scary Techno Song # 5006
30. Ordinary Blues
31. Rosy The Vampirra
32. Ain't It Great
33. You Can Leave
34. Yeah
35. Sound Bite III
36. The Filler Song
More Info:
Hi,I'm Art Paul Schlosser and when putting this CD out I was trying to do a romantic style CD (Actaully funny romantic or strange) but I had some extra stuff and the romantic songs wheren't very long so as you can see I threw some jokes in and a Bret Farve song(4) because Packer songs were selling pretty good and I liked Bret Favre's passing ability at the time.In doing this CD I wanted to go back to my roots of folk and blues because I was inspired by this acoustic guitar I had that had a bluesy sound to it.The Cover was a drawing that while I was playing Dan Huran drew me and then handed me the drawing.I liked it for the cover because I'm upstaging the audiance.I also liked it because my weird song Beach Old Lady is on this CD and I thought since I'm wearing a hawaiian shirt that might look interesting and hawaiian shirts make a guy look handsome.I choose red instead of black to go with the Valentine theme.The CD is also red and has a heart on it. The Last song The Filler song was written live in the studio and done in one take.The Filler song is basically a song to fill up the CD so you get more music for your money.Be My Valentine is my longest CD as far as time.Well I hope this helps you decide-APS Okay maybe I'll let you read some lyrics too. Here they are: 1. Sound Bite This is the sound bite 2. Red Hat Blues I've got the blues I've got the blues I've got the read hat blues I've got the read hat blues R.E.A.D. Read There's alot of words on it People read my hat I've got the read hat blues Read Read Read hat blues Read Read Read hat blues I've got the blues I've got the blues I've got the red I've got the red hat blues I've got the red hat blues Yeah R.E.D. It's red It's red Well at least it was red Until I put it in the wash Then it turn pink I've got the pink hat blues Then one day while I was wearing it It fell off it got all dirty now it brown I've got the brown hat blues Red Red Red hat blues Red Red Red hat blues I've got the blues I've got the rad hat blues I've got the rad hat blues You know R.A.D. Rad My hat is rad You know it's really cool A lot of people like it Well I think they do Maybe they don't Actaully they probable don't Well so what I don't care It's rad I like it It's rad hat Rad hat blues I've got the rad hat blues Rad Rad Rad hat blues Rad Rad Rad hat blues 3. Cat Horse Joke Q: What do you get when you mix a cat and a horse ? A: Well you know what, it eat the funniest things and when it talks it makes this sound: meheheow 4.I Like My Mother After my mother died I felt lead to write this because my Mother was a great mother. There's candy Ice cream Chocolate Good dreams And I like my Mother ! Mothers are sweet Mothers are nice They help you Give you good advice And they make you cookies ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I Like my Mother ! I really Like My Mother ! There's Uncles Cousins Sisters Brothers Fathers And I like my Mother ! And I pray God You'll let my Mother live a thousand years So I don't have to get a job or do anything And I can just live with my mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I like my Mother ! I really Like My Mother 5. 5 This is the speech about the speech about the speech about the speech, which is about the speech actually maybe I should just sing a song. 1,2,3,4,5 A,B,C,D,5 5,5,5,5,5 Maybe I've been watching too much sesame street 5 Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco 5,5,5,5,5 My girlfriend told me to meet her at a certain time, when I think it was it 5 6. 4 4-4 4 4 4-4 4 4 4-4 4-4 He's a Legend He's a Legend Number 4-4 Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre Watch him throw a Hail Mary Pass 4-4 4 4 4-4 4 4 4-4 4-4 He's a Legend He's a Legend Number 4-4 Won the most Valuable player award 3 years in a roll He's a Legend He's a Legend Number 4 7. She's a Slow Walker She's a slow walker But man can she move Yeah she's a slow walker Man can she move She's a slow walker But man can she move Said take's her a while to get there But when she gets there she's always in the groove Rides her bike Almost all the time Yeah rides her bike Almost all the time Rides her bike Almost all the time And when she gets to the hill Man can she climb She's a slow walker But man can she move She's a slow walker But man can she move She's a slow walker But man can she move Take's her a while to get there But when she gets there she's always in the groove She gives me the eye It really makes me scream She gives me the eye She really makes me scream She gives me the eye It really makes me scream You know I love to kiss her But she's only thirteen Yeah she don't smoke cigarettes It's mostly bubblegum She don't smoke cigarettes It's mostly bubblegum She don't smoke cigarettes It's mostly bubblegum She loves to laugh She loves to have fun She's a slow walker But man can she move She's a slow walker But man can she move She's a slow walker But man can she move They say it take's her a while to get there But when she gets there she's always in the groove 8. Never Grow Up Keep growing Keep growing Never grow up Never grow up Keep growing Keep growing But never grow up Too many people worrying about the bills Too many people taking too many pills Too many people making too many rules And then their sticking their nose into what your trying to do Keep growing Keep growing Keep growing Never grow up Never grow up Keep growing Keep growing But never grow up I don't want to get to wild while I'm young I don't want to treat people like they are dumb I don't want to be a nit picky person Hey there's still time let's have fun Too many people worried about the future They forget that we're still living in the now and here They miss out on all the beauty that is so dear And then they don't see the squirrels or the birds or the flowers that are near They don't 9. Swatting A Fly I've got to get that fly I've got to get that fly I hate these flies Their getting me I've got to get it Owe ! I hit myself I've got to get that fly Owe ! I hit myself again I got him 10. Setting Off The Alarm I hope no one catches me in here. 11.The Robbery Well the robber broke into the bank And he set off thee alarm And though they could hear thee alarm No one could see him Because he was the Invisible Man An the Invisible Man couldn't be caught An the Invisible Man couldn't be shot Cause no one could see him In night or day And that's how he got away He was the Invisible Man An the Invisible Man couldn't be shot An the Invisible Man couldn't be caught And he got away 12.Yes-You Caught Me Yes you caught me Drinking Ice tea 13.Please Mr. Policeman Please Mr. Policeman don't shoot me with your gun I'm just playing my guitar and I'm having a little fun I don't want to hurt no body and no body wants to hurt me So please Mr. Policeman let me go free I won't sit and I won't stand I'll hold my breath try not to breath if I can I'm just gonna play a song and then I'll disappear Oops I standing near someone else's beer Yeah I was just sitting there not doing any thing wrong Not thinking any evil thoughts just playing my songs Well you know it wasn't murder and it wasn't robbery It was the terrible crime of vagrancy Please Mr. Policeman don't shoot me with your gun I know I'm just a citizen but that don't mean I'm dumb You know my rights but that don't mean I'm wrong Hey what's so evil about a song 14. Beach Old Lady Hi,this is a song I wrote about the Beach Boys because they're kind of old these days and they're getting even older and I was thinking maybe this something they will sing at age 100. Beach old lady, Beach old lady Beach old lady, Beach old lady Beach old lady, Beach old lady Shriveled in the Sand Beach old lady, Beach old lady Beach old lady, Beach old lady Beach old lady, Beach old lady Am I to old to be your old man ? We haven't had a hit in quite a while But we still need the bucks So even though we don't got no new hits We're gonna sing the old songs that suck Beach old lady,
